private school rejection

Decision Day

March 22, 2013 by Eleanor Munson, PhD

It’s D-Day for many Dallas private schools; emails go out late this afternoon; letters are in the mail, etc. I want to extend my very best wishes to everyone for an optimal outcome.

If you need help next week (choosing between schools, dealing with a wait-list situation, or regrouping from a negative outcome), I will be available by email the first part of the week and in person or by phone the latter. Contact me if you need assistance.

Good luck!

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Top Strategies Once You Receive Your Private School Admission Letter

March 10, 2011 by Eleanor Munson, PhD

For parents applying their children to private schools, March can’t come soon enough. The last weeks have most likely been filled with anticipation and anxiety; waiting for a phone call this week if your child is an alumna or sibling or if not, for the mail this Saturday. You’ve played out the various possibilities in your mind, “what if he gets into Parish, but not Good Shepherd?” or the nightmare of every parent “what if he doesn’t get in anywhere?”

But March is finally here…..and you’ve gotten the mail (or email) …..and now you know. Here are five potential scenarios to prepare for and some guidance on what to do for each.

Option #1: Your child gets into your top choice

The best possible news! Congratulations!! Take a minute to breathe a sigh of relief and relax. Then pay close attention to the deadline date the school has given you.

What to do: Be sure to respond with your acceptance, fill out any necessary paperwork, include your deposit, and get it to the school prior to the deadline. If you don’t reply in a timely manner, your child’s spot will almost certainly be given to a child who was waitlisted.

Option #2: Your child gets into multiple schools, and you have to choose

It’s wonderful to have choices…..but it’s difficult to have choices. Spend the next week thinking through the pro’s and con’s of each school. It might help to make lists so you can go back and recall your decision points.

What to do: When spring break is over, contact the schools you are deciding between and ask to observe in the classroom. In my experience, you will have a good feel for what school is best for your child if you sit through a morning or afternoon in the classroom. If you have particular concerns, you may want to visit by phone or in person with the Admissions Counselor of head of the school to get their opinion of how your child will “fit” into their school.

Option #3: Your child gets into several schools but is wait-listed at your top choice

Though you may be disappointed, this is a good situation to be in. You have options. If you researched your private school options carefully and applied where you felt your child would be successful, then your decision should be easy. Responding “yes” to the acceptance is a no-brainer. You have the choice of waiting to hear from the school where your child is wait-listed, which is a gamble.

What to do: It’s a wiser decision to accept admission to a school where your child has been accepted. Remember – a bird in the hand…. There are no guarantees of admission when you are wait-listed. It is safer to put a deposit down where you have a spot and consider forfeiting the deposit if you get in at the top choice later.

Option #4: You received NO acceptances but are on several waitlists

Don’t panic! It isn’t the end of the world, but it is time to re-strategize.

What to do: Call the school(s) where your child was wait-listed and let them know of your continued interest and that you would be very pleased to have your child accepted to their school. Do not make repeated calls and pester the admissions people. You risk annoying them which could jeopardize your chance to come off the wait list. Realize that there is a lot of movement in the weeks after letters are mailed out as families make their decisions and spots open up. The days of waiting will be stressful but may end up paying off.

Option #5: Your child was rejected at all the schools you applied to

What to do: First,breathe. Go somewhere where you can be alone. Many mothers I know have cried upon receiving bad news – it is normal. However, if at all possible, cry, yell or hit your pillow in private. It is best to approach your child with the news when you are less emotional, so they don’t feel like they have failed you.

Once you are past the emotion, get into high gear. You need a plan. Start by looking at smaller schools who have rolling admissions, magnet or charter schools in your district, and your local public school. Sometimes districts will allow parents to petition to attend another public school in their district that is outside the boundary lines. Start the visit and application process as quickly as you can. Another option: This may sound extreme, but some parents will consider distance learning (online school), homeschooling, or finding a tutor to work with their child.

NET NET: Just remember as you open your letters this weekend, that everything will be OK in the end. There are many schools where your child can learn and thrive. If you don’t get the acceptances you are hoping for, make an appointment with the admissions counselor and listen to what they have to say. Your child may be a good candidate for their school, they just may not have had enough spots. You may be encouraged to try again next year. Or maybe it isn’t the best place for your child, and you need to look elsewhere. Either way, don’t forget that your child’s future will not be determined by where they go to school next year.

Dealing with Private School Rejection: Do’s and Don’ts

March 7, 2011 by Eleanor Munson, PhD

This is the week that, with hands shaking, parents open the acceptance and rejection letters from private schools around town. It’s tough to get past the feeling that it is a judgement of your child, and ultimately you as parents, but of course it isn’t. And while rejection may feel like the end of the world….it isn’t that either.

Parents need to be aware that kids are highly sensitive to their parents’ moods and are listening even when they don’t seem to be. So at this particularly sensitive time, I’ve put together a list of do’s and don’ts for dealing with private school rejection.

Do’s and Don’ts of Dealing with Private School Rejection

Do take a moment to breathe if you open a rejection letter. For the sake of your child, contain your emotion.
Do let your child express disappointment and upset. Explain that lots of kids are rejected, and it’s not anything personal. Reassure them that it’s the school’s loss.
Do express your disappointment for your child…not in your child.
Don’t blame your child. Keep the rejection in perspective and know that your child will find happiness at the school you end up choosing. Turn the situation into a learning experience…we all have disappointments in life.
Do be especially loving, accepting, and encouraging at this time. Watch for signs that your child is upset as time passes and deal with this accordingly.
Don’t call the admissions office when you are angry. Don’t complain or call expecting to talk them into accepting your child. That won’t happen.
Do make an appointment for a visit with the admission counselor if your child didn’t get accepted. Most schools are happy to provide parents with specific information as to why they didn’t accept your child. Be polite and keep an open mind when listening to their feedback. If they identify any “problem” areas, check with your child’s teacher and see if they concur. If so, consider addressing the issue.

It’s never too early to start thinking about next year. Consider working with an educational consultant, such as myself, to get help in coming up with a solid plan for the admissions process for the next year. An educational consultant can work with you to develop a list of reach and safety schools.