Eleanor Munson, PhD

Dallas Educational Consultants

dallas private school application

The Dallas Private School Puzzle

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Here’s an article I recently wrote for Modern Luxury’s Dallas Private School Handbook.

As a parent, one of our greatest responsibilities is our children’s education. In some places this is an easy choice; the local public school system is well-rated, or there are only two or three private schools in the area. In Dallas, with over 200 (yes, 200!) private schools in the city and suburbs, we have a myriad of choices at all levels. As parents begin the private school search, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and unsure about what’s best for your child.

Once you go beyond considerations like location, tuition, co-ed vs. single sex, etc., what other things might you think about to help you make this important decision? How can you anticipate if your child will thrive in a particular school environment?

First, though it’s easy to be swayed by name recognition and think that the most well-known schools must be the best ones for your child, know that there are many, many good schools in our area. When I’m not seeing clients, I’m visiting schools (over a hundred and counting), and almost without exception, I have found something very positive at every school I’ve toured. Not every child would do well at every school, but many would.

For a preschool-aged child, ask yourself if the mission of the school matches your child’s personality and temperament. For instance, a young child who has trouble sustaining attention and can’t work independently may have a difficult time in a Montessori setting, where students work on their own in self-directed activities. However, for a curious, self-motivated child, Montessori can be the perfect fit because they can explore and satisfy their thirst for knowledge.

With an older child, you might consider whether your child is a match for a very competitive private school. If accepted, would they be ready for a rigorous course load and the homework to go with it? Is their ability in sports, arts, etc., exceptional enough to land them a spot on a team or a role in the school musical? Or would your child do better at a smaller, less competitive school? One where they can play on a school team even if they’re not a fantastic athlete or be chosen for the lead role in the school play because it’s something they’ve always wanted to try? At such a school, there are opportunities open for kids at different skill levels, not just for a small range of kids that excel.

Also, don’t limit yourself to considering only PK-12 independent schools. I get it, the process is stressful, and you want to be “one and done,” but kids make huge developmental gains every year that can significantly impact their educational needs. Even if a child is already in a PK-12 school, I recommend that parents assess their choice every year or so. A school that was the perfect fit for your younger child may not be right for middle or high school. Ask yourself if the school meets their needs and provides the experiences that will keep them on the path that you feel is important. Sometimes a change is needed.

Finding the best fit for your child is the most challenging part of the process, in my opinion. I believe that a child must feel emotionally safe and secure to take risks. If they’re in a school environment that’s not right for them, they won’t have the confidence to try new things, grow, and stretch themselves. Yes, they will make it through, but will their life be as enriched as it could have been if they had been in a setting more in tune with their true essence? It is a complicated process and may feel daunting at times, but with open-mindedness, commitment, and consistent evaluation and reevaluation, you should be able to find the best place for your child to spend their grade school years.

Eleanor Munson, Ph.D. is an Educational Consultant in Dallas. A Professional Member of the Independent Educational Consultants Association with a specialty in Learning Differences, Dr. Munson is the only such practitioner in Dallas to focus exclusively on private school placement. Find her at www.eleanormunsonphd.com.

© Eleanor Munson, Ph.D. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from Eleanor Munson, Ph.D. is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Munson, Ph.D. with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Difficult Parents – The X Factor in Private School Admissions

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Eleanor Munson educational school consultantThere are people in difficult situations…and then there are difficult people!  We all know people like this, those that seem determined to ‘get their way’ at any time, any place, at any cost.  Now imagine these people as parents, applying their child to private school.  At some point in the process, they show their true colors and within lies an admissions director’s dilemma.

Difficult, demanding parents are exasperating to teachers, coaches, school administrators, and other parents, for that matter.  Private schools spend a great deal of time and energy dealing with these ‘troublemaker’ parents, so prospective parents who show any inkling of being high maintenance are considered carefully.  Recognize that a school may be interested in your child, but your unbecoming behavior will certainly make them reconsider.  The last thing schools want is to spend years dealing with difficult parents.

Recently, at an information session at a local private elementary/middle school, a mom in the audience monopolized the meeting by asking strings of detailed and inappropriate questions, for example; ‘why did the music teacher leave the school?’, ‘where did she go?’, ‘what is the name of the admissions test?’, ‘what kind of test is it and can you prepare for it?’,  ‘should my son ‘guess’ on the admissions test?’, ‘does anyone read the recommendations that the 8th grade teachers send to high schools to see if what they said is positive?’,  and more.  After a particularly lengthy exchange about whether or not the conduct grade counts towards high honor roll or honor roll, an exasperated dad blurted out ‘if your kid causes trouble he shouldn’t go here.’  Hurray!

One or two of these questions might have been appropriate for the setting, and let me emphasize might, but the multitude and often challenging nature of the inquiries about the school’s policies were off-putting at best.  Thankfully, situations like this are pretty rare, but it does serve as a reminder to think about the impression you are making when you tour the school, have your parent interview, or phone to ask a question.  Be respectful of the people and the process!

© Eleanor Munson, PhD. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from Eleanor Munson, PhD is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Munson, PhD with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Testing Day

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testing 2013This Saturday marks the first testing day for many Dallas private schools.  For younger kids, this means a morning spent at one of the schools participating in a group playdate or visit.  For older students, it means the ISEE.  For parents, it means shaky nerves, nightmares, and several hours of waiting that feel endless.

As you’re trying to calm your nerves in the next couple of days, let me offer a couple of suggestions.  For the younger set…. Grab 3 things for your child as you leave your house Saturday morning – their favorite stuffed animal (for the car ride), their favorite snack (for the wait), and a favored activity like a new sticker book, Leapster game, or iPad with apps (backup for the wait).  Make sure they get a good night sleep Friday night and a good breakfast Saturday morning.  Let them wear what they’re most comfortable (within reason – no pj’s).

For the older kids… When you get out of the car Saturday morning, tell your child two things – fill in a bubble for every question and guess if you don’t know the answer.  Points are not deducted for a wrong answer, so they have a 1 in 4 chance of increasing their score just by answering the question.

For you… Take at least one thing to occupy yourself during the wait.  Pack a book, needlepoint, People magazine, iPhone…..anything to avoid sitting there uncomfortably with nothing to do.  Take it from someone who arrived empty-handed; sitting in a room filled with parents who are all competing for the same spot(s) is not something you will enjoy.  Be prepared…and it will be over before you know it.

© Eleanor Munson, PhD. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from Eleanor Munson, PhD is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Munson, PhD with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Dealing with Private School Rejection: Do’s and Don’ts

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private school rejectionThis is the week that, with hands shaking, parents open the acceptance and rejection letters from private schools around town.  It’s tough to get past the feeling that it is a judgement of your child, and ultimately you as parents, but of course it isn’t.  And while rejection may feel like the end of the world….it isn’t that either.

Parents need to be aware that kids are highly sensitive to their parents’ moods and are listening even when they don’t seem to be.  So at this particularly sensitive time, I’ve put together a list of do’s and don’ts for dealing with private school rejection.

 Do’s and Don’ts of Dealing with Private School Rejection
  • Do take a moment to breathe if you open a rejection letter.  For the sake of your child, contain your emotion.
  • Do let your child express disappointment and upset.  Explain that lots of kids are rejected, and it’s not anything personal.  Reassure them that it’s the school’s loss.
  • Do express your disappointment for your child…not in your child.
  • Don’t blame your child.  Keep the rejection in perspective and know that your child will find happiness at the school you end up choosing.  Turn the situation into a learning experience…we all have disappointments in life.
  • Do be especially loving, accepting, and encouraging at this time.  Watch for signs that your child is upset as time passes and deal with this accordingly.
  • Don’t call the admissions office when you are angry.  Don’t complain or call expecting to talk them into accepting your child.  That won’t happen.
  • Do make an appointment for a visit with the admission counselor if your child didn’t get accepted.  Most schools are happy to provide parents with specific information as to why they didn’t accept your child.  Be polite and keep an open mind when listening to their feedback.  If they identify any “problem” areas, check with your child’s teacher and see if they concur.  If so, consider addressing the issue.

It’s never too early to start thinking about next year.  Consider working with an educational consultant, such as myself, to get help in coming up with a solid plan for the admissions process for the next year.  An educational consultant can work with you to develop a list of reach and safety schools.

© Eleanor Munson, PhD. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from Eleanor Munson, PhD is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Munson, PhD with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do You Have to be Gifted to go to a Top Dallas Private School?

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private schoolThere’s nothing that elicits more conversation among parents than a mention of applying to private schools.  Few topics evoke such strong and varied emotions.  Stress, anxiety, confusion, worry, fear, and even the occasional nightmare accompany the process these days.  But it wasn’t always this way.  It’s interesting to hear what parents have to say about the application process back in the 1970’s.  Yes, there were admissions tests, but if your child was reasonably bright you just filled out the form and put down a deposit.  I don’t mean to imply that anyone could get into to Hockaday, St. Marks, or Greenhill (ESD was just getting started) but it was certainly more of parent’s choice situation, rather than the other way around.

The Admissions Process Today

Fast forward…and my how things have changed.  Officially, admissions season begins the September before you want your child to begin.  The fall is filled with open houses, tours, and CATS testing (ability testing done one-on-one with a psychologist) for younger students.  Application due dates begin in November and run into January, depending on the grade you are applying for.  Once the application is in, most schools require their own group testing on a Saturday morning for younger students.  Some schools require a parent interview as well.  For older (5th grade+) students, the ISEE (Independent School Entrance Exam) should be taken in January.  Older applicants are encouraged (and in some cases required) to spend a day at the school visiting, as well as interviewing.  And then it all comes to a halt, and you are left with the painful two-month wait.  The top Dallas private schools have adopted a tradition of sending out decision letters the Friday prior to the start of spring break (usually in mid-March).  So parents receive their letter on Saturday and must wait a week before they have contact with anyone at the school.

But do you have to be gifted?

In short, no.  Certainly schools want bright students, but your child needn’t be a genius to attend.  Ruth Burke, Director of Admission and Financial Aid at the Episcopal School of Dallas, says independent schools “typically serve students who have above-average cognitive ability and have demonstrated above-average achievement – which includes, but is not limited to, gifted students.”  Mrs. Burke notes that students who do well in independent schools have “a solid work ethic, intellectual curiosity, motivation to succeed, and support at home.”  Gifted or not, students that lack these qualities may not find academic success at a top Dallas private school.  Schools in Dallas such as ESD, Mrs. Burke says, take into consideration the whole child – intellectual curiosity, the potential for leadership, creativity, co-curricular interests and activities, special talents, and school achievement.  She strongly recommends that parents learn the mission of the schools they are researching and be sure that they match what they are looking for in a school for their child.

How to tackle the Admissions process

Experts suggest an educational consultant to help you through the admissions process.  Consultants, such as myself, can suggest schools that meet the criteria that’s important to you, your child, and your family.  It’s important to give yourself plenty of time to visit schools and decide if they “fit” your child.  Once your application is in and your child has been tested, it’s time to put it to rest until March.  Then, hopefully, you’ll get the answer you’re hoping for in the mail.  Have faith….there are a myriad of schools in Dallas to choose from.  There is certainly a place for your child.

© Eleanor Munson, PhD. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from Eleanor Munson, PhD is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Munson, PhD with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.