Miscellaneous

The single best thing you can do NOW to help your child transition to a new school

June 30, 2012 by Eleanor Munson, PhD

Summer’s finally here, and school is a distant memory. Weekdays are filled with trips to the pool, popsicles, and catching lightening bugs. Worries, along with early bedtimes, are a thing of the past…right? Well, if your child is starting a new school in the fall maybe you have a few lingering concerns that you just can’t get rid of.

And that’s natural. Moving to a new school or starting school for the first time results in a period of transition for kids and parents alike. There is, however, one thing you can do right now that will make the move go more smoothly come fall.

In my opinion, the best way to help a child feel comfortable at a new school is to familiarize them with the school, now. Many schools offer summer classes and camps. If it works for your family, enroll them right away. Even if the offerings aren’t your child’s absolute favorite things, the time they spend on the campus, in the rooms, and with the teachers will do wonders to ease their anxiety….and yours. Think back to being a child. Many times it was the unknown that was the scariest to deal with. Knowing where the bathrooms are, what door you take to the playground, and which water fountain doesn’t spray you in the face are all key when you’re young.

Several schools in the area have found this “early exposure” to school so important for their new students that they require it. At Lamplighter, the cost of a two-week session of day camp is incorporated into a new student’s tuition. The Shelton School requires new students to attend three weeks of summer classes to prepare them for the fall.

If a class or camp doesn’t work for your family, there are other ways to familiarize your child with their new school. Picnic on the school grounds, play on the playground or toss the football on the athletic fields. Call the school and ask if you and your child can visit the classrooms and walk around the campus. If you don’t get an answer right now, call in early August. Most schools have an orientation for new students a few days before the start of school where they can meet their teacher.

Whichever way you choose to do it, familiarizing your child this summer for the fall will help your child and you.

© Eleanor Munson, PhD. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from Eleanor Munson, PhD is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Munson, PhD with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Five Steps to Starting the School Year Off Right

September 1, 2011 by Eleanor Munson, PhD

Your kids are back in school. Whew! If you’re like most moms, you feel a mixture of relief and dread. We start fall with the best of intentions to stay on top of it all. But as the weeks go by, it’s easy to spiral into survival mode, just trying to get through the day. Start working with your kids now, to help them develop strong study skills, and hopefully the fall won’t feel quite as overwhelming.

#1 Be sure your child has an assignment book and uses it

Encourage your child to get in the habit of reviewing his assignment book at the end of the school day, as he packs up his backpack to come home. Doing so will ensure he has the books, worksheets, etc. required to complete the night’s homework and will prevent the angst of the “I left it at school” syndrome.

#2 Teach your child to prioritize his assignments

Have your child take out all of his homework and give it a quick rating as to its difficulty level and the time required for completion. Then, encourage him to decide where to begin. It feels very empowering to control your destiny, even if it’s only with regard to homework.

#3 Keep notebooks and backpack organized

Your child is going to need your continued support as these steps start to become habits. In a positive, encouraging way, sit down together once a week and go through his notebooks and backpack together, either filing or tossing loose papers.

#4 Make the weekend count

When Friday afternoon comes, all of us want to kick off our shoes and relax. It’s important to have downtime, but spending a little time studying over the weekend can be a real grade booster. Whether he’s reviewing a topic from the week prior or getting a jump on the upcoming work, being prepared is always a confidence booster!

#5 If all else fails, enlist help

As a parent, you have to judge what battles are worth fighting with your kids. If helping them with organizational skills is fraught with conflict, let it go and find someone neutral that will work with your child. Your child’s teacher may be able to help. Also, there are tutors in the Dallas area that specialize in teaching organizational skills to students.

Learning to be organized will help your children immensely as they grow up. Don’t procrastinate – get started right now!

Tips for Helping Your Child Start a New School

August 15, 2011 by Eleanor Munson, PhD

A New Start

For many children, school starts next week. If your child is starting a new school, these last days of summer may be stressful as the anticipation of a new environment nears. Getting the year off to a good start can reduce stress for the entire family, build your child’s confidence, and improve academic functioning. Here are some steps you can take to support your child and help ease the transition.

Before school starts…

Keep a positive focus. Stay confident and enthusiastic about your child’s new school. Regardless of their ages, kids are experts at reading your emotions about their teacher, classmates, etc. YOUR attitude sets the stage.
Visit the school with your child. Some schools open their classrooms before school starts and have a “meet the teacher” time. If this is offered, by all means GO. If not, find other ways to introduce your child to her new school. Go play on the playground and stroll through the hallways. Then, closer to the first day, do a full run through – enter through the door she will use, find her classroom, identify the closest water fountain and restrooms, find the lunchroom, etc. Becoming familiar with the physical layout of the school goes a long way toward reducing first day jitters.
Re-establish meal and bedtime routines. If you haven’t already done so, start putting your children to bed earlier and getting them up earlier as well. Being well-rested will help your kids feel better physically and emotionally. Get back on schedule with regular mealtimes, too. Be sure to serve a healthy breakfast every morning. Some alternatives to cold cereal are yogurt and granola, whole wheat Eggo waffles with peanut butter, and cottage cheese with fresh fruit.
Be a good listener. Talk to your child about her new school and the things you think she will enjoy, but be sure to listen to her concerns. It’s tempting to want to tell her “It’ll be fine. You’ll love school,” but doing so will end the conversation and make her hesitant to open up and share her feelings in the future. Instead, let her talk (and even cry) about the things she’s worried about. Kids, like adults, just want to feel heard and understood.
Be early. My worst “first day of school moment,” as a parent happened after we moved, and I underestimated the time it took to get to my kids school. I will never forget standing in the doorway of both my children’s classrooms. In both instances, the class had already started, and they were LATE! LATE on the first day! The kids recovered quickly but years later I am still traumatized. Moral of the story, Be Early!

Once school begins…

Develop an after-school routine. Younger children will probably need to stay close to you while they complete their homework, perhaps at the kitchen table or in the den, as they may need your help and encouragement. Older children may prefer a quieter spot like their room or the library. Help your children find a specific spot to put their backpacks when they finish their homework to keep morning stress at a minimum.
Encourage your child to get involved. There are a myriad of ways older children can find friends. In middle and high school they can join clubs, play on school athletic teams, participate in community service projects, and more. As a parent of a younger child, you’ll need to take the lead by arranging play dates and signing your child up for sports teams.
Get involved at your child’s school. Sign up to volunteer in your child’s classroom. This is a great way to form relationships with your child’s teacher and classmates and also gain a sense of what your child’s school experience is like. In elementary school, socializing tends to be mom-driven, so getting to know the other students and moms can potentially offer your child more social opportunities.

Most of all, RELAX! The first days and weeks of a new school can be stressful with frequent ups and downs. Don’t overreact if things get rough. Stay calm and confident and remind yourself that adjusting to a new school takes time.

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Is Your Child Overexcitable?

August 8, 2011 by Eleanor Munson, PhD

Before you answer, let me explain what I mean. The overexcitability, or “OE,” that I’m referring to was identified by Kazimierz Dabrowski, a Polish psychologist, who coined the term to refer to the inborn tendency to respond more and more intensely to life’s stimuli. He believed some individuals are genetically predisposed to have more intense life experiences. So if your child exhibits one or more of these – more energy than his friends, intense emotional reactions (“drama”), strong reactions to seams in his socks, an extreme thirst for knowledge, and/or a thriving fantasy life, he may have one or more overexcitabilities. Dabrowski felt that overexcitabilities came in five forms, which are described below.

Psychomotor Overexcitability

Psychomotor overexcitability is characterized by a surplus of physical energy. Rapid speech, intense physical activity, and extreme competitiveness are typically seen. When feeling stressed or emotionally tense, someone with a psychomotor OE may express these feelings by displaying nervous habits (nail biting or tics), working excessively, or acting impulsively. As you might guess, kids with this OE can be misdiagnosed as having ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).

Sensual Overexcitability

Individuals with sensual overexcitability have a heightened response to their senses. Those with fine-tuned sensory systems may find sensory stimuli repellent. Kids with sensual OE may want earplugs to block out noises, parents to remove tags in their clothes, and may even get sick from an unpleasant smell. The opposite is true too. Those with sensual OE may find intense pleasure in music and art. Emotional tension may be satisfied by overeating, spending sprees, and striving to be the focus of attention.

Imaginational Overexcitability

We’ve all known the child with an imaginary playmate. In fact, many of us may have had one ourselves when we were young. However, kids with an imaginational OE take this to an extreme; creating a private world so complex and vivid that they may have trouble distinguishing it from reality. Individuals with this OE love to daydream and fantasize. They have a low tolerance for boredom and may use free play of the imagination to escape it.

Intellectual Overexcitability

Intense curiosity characterizes those with an intellectual overexcitability. This is the most recognized OE seen in bright, gifted children. These are the kids who love learning and problem-solving and can spend a great deal of time mulling over a thought or idea. Those with intellectual OE are avid readers, keen observers and are highly reflective. However, they may become impatient when asked to work at a slower pace. They may be highly critical at times and challenge authority by their questioning.

Emotional Overexcitability

Individuals with emotional overexcitability are exceptionally sensitive and reactive to feelings and emotions, either positive or negative. They have the capability for strong attachments to people, places, animals, etc. However, they can also experience intense fear, anxiety, and depression. It’s not uncommon for kids with emotional OE to be diagnosed with bipolar or other emotional disorders.

At various times in our lives, most of us have experienced some of the characteristics of the overexcitabilities above. Researchers believe, however, that overexcitabilities are innate and are present throughout one’s life, rather than being just an occasional occurrence. Studies show that gifted children, as well as children who excel in one particular subject or who are considered creative, have significantly more overexcitabilities than average, with one OE typically being dominant.

Overexcitabilities can be thought of as various types of intensities. Although raising a child with any of these OE’s can be challenging, having an OE does not mean a child has a problem or issue. Here are some suggestions to help you cope:

Familiarize yourself and your child with overexcitabilities. Learn as much as you can about your child’s OE(s). In turn, teach your child that differences are OK and make us who we are. Emphasize the positives of your child’s OE(s) and help your child learn to see them as strengths.
Teach your child skills to learn how to manage his overexcitabilities. Help your child learn the warning signs of an impending overreaction and role-play different ways to change their response.
Learn to appreciate your child for who he is….OE’s and all!

Five Ways to Get a Jump on Fall

July 22, 2011 by Eleanor Munson, PhD

It’s July, it’s summer vacation, and it is HOT! You may not have had a chance to escape to somewhere cool. If that’s the case, hopefully, an air-conditioned house without the hustle and bustle of the school year is providing a relaxing respite. At the moment, autumn seems far, far away. However, taking a little time now to do some early preparation will make the start of school and the following months a little less harried and more enjoyable. Here are five things you can do now, that will pay off come fall.

#1 Select your children’s activities carefully

Now is the time to think about what a balanced family life looks like to you. Are your children active and need to be busy every day after school or are one or two afternoons enough? Is your daughter a soccer aficionado and does she want to play on a school team and a select team this fall? If so, how will you make the driving schedule work and get your son to art class? Does your child need a tutor? SAT prep? Start researching now to get the best people and the best times for you. It’s easy once school starts to say “yes” to all sorts of activities and then find yourself in the car every afternoon without a moment of peace to relax or cook dinner. Think through now what will provide everyone with some much-needed downtime and then stick to your limit! A couple of other things to consider – what activities make your child’s inner soul sing? You may feel she needs tutoring in something, but balance out the “must haves” with the activities that bring a smile to your child’s face and play to her strengths! Another consideration is your budget. Extracurriculars can be expensive, and when you have several per child with multiple children, you can start to feel like you’re paying an additional tuition. Create a budget as you plan so you don’t overdo.

#2 Get an early start shopping for school supplies

If you’ve been to Target in the last few weeks, you’ve probably noticed that the school supply area is fully stocked. One trick to getting ahead is to go to your school’s website and find the supply list. Print it out and get your shopping done early! Not only will your child have her choice of patterns and prints….then that’s one thing crossed off your list. While you’re at it, pick up some poster board too. Who among us hasn’t had to run out at the spur of the moment at the most inconvenient time to pick up some?

#3 Evaluate your family calendar system

Is it working for you? There are so many options now…you just have to find what’s best for your family. Will a large whiteboard in the kitchen work, or is a paper calendar easier? Have you gone digital – iCal, Outlook, or Google? You may want to try a ‘smart’ calendar system that allows you to integrate all the details of your family’s activities into your calendar.

#4 Anticipate your family’s wardrobe needs

Start thinking about wardrobe needs for cooler weather. Will your son need new dress shoes? Does your daughter’s winter coat still fit? Have them try things on one afternoon and cull their closets. Make a list of what each family member needs and start shopping! Keep in mind the tax-free weekend in Texas is August 19th-21st. If you are buying a lot of clothes at once, wait until that weekend, get up early, and reap the benefits of planning ahead. Again, start early, and you’ll have your pick of colors and sizes. Remember to buy a little big and most important…..don’t forget to include yourself!

#5 Start teaching three life lessons for the rest of the year

Summer is a great time to reflect on where your kids are now and where you’d like them to be in the future. What lessons do you want to pass on to them? What do you want them to be able to do when you aren’t around? It can be as simple as wanting them to take their dinner plate to the sink every night or put their backpack by the door after they finish their homework. You may want to institute an allowance and help your child start understanding the concept of saving and giving. If they’re older, perhaps you want them to start figuring out the tip when you go out to eat or learn how to do their laundry. You don’t necessarily have to articulate the goal to your child. It’s your goal for them, something you feel is important for them to learn. Choose three things you want you child to learn before we ring in the new year and track it on your calendar. You’ll be amazed at how putting focus on a learning goal can pay off, and your children will love the time you spend teaching them. The attention they get from you alone will have a big impact on their lives and how they feel about themselves.

It doesn’t take too long to get yourself way ahead. Even if you just choose to do one of these things, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment once August hits. And while you’ve got some time on your hands, why don’t you buy some time for the future?