Eleanor Munson, PhD

Dallas Educational Consultants

Archives for April 2013

Waiting List Decorum

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Munson school consultantWhy the bridge you ask?  My number one mom mantra is ‘don’t burn bridges.’  It is the one phrase guaranteed to elicit eye-rolling from both of my kids.  However, when it comes to waiting list decorum, the issue at hand is less about the bridge and more about just doing the right thing.

It’s been an unusual admissions season, with spring break falling so late in March.  Many Dallas private schools send out their decision letters on the Friday before spring break.  This year that date was March 22nd.  Schools asked parents to notify them of their decision by April 5th (two weeks later), either by bringing in a contract and deposit or by declining the offer with a phone call or email.

I learned something this week.  Some parents of children waitlisted at their top-choice school have not given notice at other schools where their children were accepted. So, a child is accepted at schools A & B, but really wants to attend school C, where they are waitlisted.  The parent, hoping a spot will open up at school C, has not accepted, declined, or even contacted schools A & B, assuming that their child’s offer will remain as their ‘backup’ if a spot doesn’t open up at school C.

My thoughts?  To not notify a school that has given your child a place is inconsiderate and unacceptable.  You have put a great deal of time and effort into applying to the school, and in turn the school has spent time and energy considering (and eventually accepting) your child.  It’s rude to ignore their deadline.  Additionally, just as you may be hoping beyond hope that a spot opens up at your first choice school, there are others who feel the same way at the schools you have ignored.  Being on the wait list is excruciating for everyone, so you’ve really done those folks a disservice.

So, what to do?  If there is no way you will send your child there, then call immediately, apologize, and decline their offer.  If you’re seriously thinking of sending your child there if a spot does not open up at your top choice school, fill out the paperwork and put the deposit down.  Yes, you will lose your deposit if you end up with a place at the other school.  But you will have done the right thing by everyone.

In this world, you never know what the future holds.  What if the first choice school isn’t a good fit and you decide you’re interested in the school you neglected to contact?  What if that school turns out to be a great possibility for one of your younger children?  You’ll wish you hadn’t burned that bridge.

© Eleanor Munson, PhD. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from Eleanor Munson, PhD is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Munson, PhD with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Wait List, Wait Pool …. Stressful No Matter the Name!

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Munson phd consultantTom Petty had it right …. “the waiting is the hardest part.”  A number of parents I’ve spoken to this week have received news that their child has been put in the wait pool.  Hockaday, St. Marks, Greenhill, Good Shepherd, and Parish are some of the schools that have parents sitting on pins and needles in hopes that a spot will open up.

Many schools have moved away from having a traditional ‘wait list’ and now use a ‘wait pool.’  Both are for students that meet the school’s entrance requirements but are not offered a place.  A waitlist means that for each grade prospective students are ranked, so that when a spot opens up the first on the list gets an offer.  The next opening goes to the second person on the list, and so on.  Schools that maintain lists tend to be smaller, have a smaller number of applicants, and may use the sign-up date as a basis for entry.

A waiting pool consists of all of the ‘approved’ students for each grade, without any ranking.  If a spot opens up, the admissions committee reconvenes to review the students again to determine who is offered the spot.  Though it requires more work on the part of the school, it also gives them the most flexibility, as they may consider gender and other variables that change from year to year, grade to grade.

Honestly, when your child is ‘approved’ for admission but denied a place, it stings.  You know how wonderful your child is, why doesn’t the school see that?  As difficult as it is, try not to take it personally.  There are many reasons why another child was offered a spot.  She may be a sibling, a member of the church, an alumna child…you’ll never really know.  The best thing you can do is let the school know you are still interested and then just wait……and hope.

© Eleanor Munson, PhD. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from Eleanor Munson, PhD is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Munson, PhD with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.